An Open Letter to All Spammers/Scammers

I, like Darrell Peart, get e-mails like the one below on a regular basis.  I usually just flag them as spam and delete them, but they keep coming.  Perhaps they will stop if I respond.  Or not!

I got this e-mail earlier today:

Hello,

Am Mr, Mark.I want to order some wood glue from you and i want to  know whether you have it in stock.I want you to email me back with the total price as well as the type of credit card you accept for payment. Thank you

Best regards.

Mark

Here is my response:

Mark,

I have wood glue in stock.  The total price will be $547 and the only credit cards I accept are Club Flair Visas.  If you do not have such a card, you may mail your cash to the address found on my website.

Chris

Note:  I have a $5 fee for writing an e-mail reply and a $10 fee for preparing a quote, conditions to which you agreed by sending your e-mail.  This sum of $15 is not included in the total quoted above and is not disputable.  Thank you for your cooperation.

*To be perfectly clear, Club Flair Visas do not exist, I do not charge for replying to e-mails or for preparing quotes.  I will, however, sell you wood glue for $547 if you are willing to pay it (of course, you’ll get a boat-load of glue for the money).

Click here to read Darrell Peart’s response to this type of e-mails.

Some Fun Stats to Celebrate 100,000 Visits

Yesterday, the 100,000th person viewed my site since I transferred it to WordPress one year, nine months ago.  To celebrate, I thought I’d share with you some Top 11 Stats.

Top 11 Referring Blogs:

  1. Half Inch Shy;
  2. Tom’s Workbench;
  3. Woodworking Hobbyist’s Workshop;
  4. The Joiner’s Apprentice;
  5. The Wood Whisperer;
  6. WoodshopDemos;
  7. The Art of Woodshop Design;
  8. Wood Is Art;
  9. Oldwolf Workshop Studio;
  10. She Works Wood; and
  11. The Taylor Garage.

Top 11 Countries Visiting:

  1. United States;
  2. Canada;
  3. United Kingdom;
  4. Australia;
  5. France;
  6. Netherlands;
  7. Germany;
  8. Italy;
  9. New Zealand;
  10. Poland; and
  11. South Africa.

Top 11 Unusual Search Keywords Used to Find This Site:

  1. festool pencil (The Slippery Slope of Festool);
  2. retrofit table saw break (Why Not A SawStop);
  3. whats your groove feel (Getting in the Groove);
  4. rock cribbage board (Apple Cribbage Boards);
  5. sayings about wood carving dr. suess (How to Listen to the Wood – Carving, Day 1);
  6. chris wong the moody woodworker from canada (Paul-Marcel’s Review of the Laguna Italian-Made LT-18 Bandsaw);
  7. how to make ghost clock (Wendell Castle – Ghost Clock);
  8. butt particle board (Working with Melamine Particle Board);
  9. diet patch (Maple Trestle Table, Session 12 – Fitting the Mother of all Mortise & Tenon Joints);
  10. squirting (Get Your Creative Juices… Uh… Squirting); and
  11. bourbon cream bot (Maple Trestle Table, Session 11 – Straight Lines on Wonky Surfaces).

Top 11 Spam Comments:

  1. Good day very nice site!! Guy .. Beautiful .. Wonderful ..;
  2. Patio;
  3. send food;
  4. Terrific paintings!;
  5. Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you!;
  6. Hi my family member! I want to say that this post is amazing, nice written and come with almost all vital infos. I’d like to look more posts like this .;
  7. From “Mildew”, Good day! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be ok.;
  8. thanks ur parents for having you;
  9. Hmmm. Try going to a Goodwill store or garage sales in an area of town where strippers hang out?;
  10. That’s an interesting point of view, but I much prefer sitting in my adirondack chair.; and
  11. I bet your a big fat guy. Im a professional trainer and I know what im talking about.

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